Tis the Season...

Merry CHRISTMAS!!!!!

I know I always promise to be more consistent with my blogging habits but like everyone this time of year and pretty much all year long I find things that must be done before I sit down to type. I love to blog though. It is a little bit of an escape from the mediocracies of life and homework.

Any ways, this month has brought about some new things... In essence of the Christmas spirit and from the quote by LOVE ACTUALLY... "Love is actually all around." I am not saying I am in love nor am I saying I am not... I am just enjoying my life and all that is taking part in this chapter.

For starters, I got the luxury of going out on a "special" date... I was surprised with a dozen roses(which is by far my favorite thing to receive) and a journey up the 215 freeway we to experience the Mission Inn lights. They were beautiful. Then we ate at the Italian Restaurant at the Hotel. It was maybe the best pizza ever! And I cant forget the vino:) What can I say I am a lover of the romance of "wine'in" and dinin'.

What better way to start the season than to see all those lights then to take a journey to the local Christmas tree farm and get a tree. We went with some of my closest married couple friends ( who have turned into my relatives from another family;). They hail from Vermont so their idea of a Christmas always starts with WHITE and 25 degree weather. Big shocker when we go to the tree lot and could easily wear flip flops and shorts. Of course I dress like I its freezing with

boots and a scarf. We found a 5'7" Nordic cutie.. I call him "nordie". He looks adore-able! The picture above is with Sarah. We call ourselves the SARAH-NADES. Yes, we sing and dance... "because we are sisters... Lord help the mister who comes between me and my sister.." ( She introduced me to White Christmas so that is now our theme song)

The other day I went to Sam's Club and bought a ginger-bread-house and so we spent the evening making it while we watched Wall-e. It was my first time seeing it can I just say it is adorable! We were going to watch Christmas Vacation but I have seem to misplaced it since last Christmas. If anyone finds it please let me know:)

All in all I can say that I am in the Christmas spirit. As I am writing this my sister, brother and I are about to have our annual christmas cookie decorating adventure. But let me not forget what this season is really about.

Family gathering around to celebrate the birth of the most high. The Tale of the Three Trees, is by far my favorite Christmas book to read. I know you can read it year round but this story seems to highlight the importance of what is around us and how a tree can be a servant to the most high. In this time when busy is a short cry for busy lets focus on what is important to us. Cherish these moments and hold tight to all that is around you because as I said earlier "love is all around" and its time to share that love with others. God Bless all of you during this most joyous season. I am excited to see and hear how everyone celebrated and how Jesus' birth made a difference in your life.

Luke 2:1-14

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

Live in love, love in life

All about the words...

Communication.. Words... Sentences... sighs... and even the slightest nod. All of these provide such a romance. If done well you can have a masterpiece, if not you can be left with broken pieces.

I cant help but have fantasies. Some are big ambitions other are what you would say could be left to the hopeless romantic but I guess romanticizing isn't the worst characteristic one can have.

Reading.. I know I was blogging this summer about reading american classic novels.

But when push comes to shove if there is a book in front of me and it isn't horrendous I will read it. I recently read the book Safe Haven by Nicolas Sparks. That man surely knows how to put a whole lot of words together and make a piece that leaves you wanting more but more importantly it left you feeling like love is just another bus ride away.

At the moment I am reading Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen. So far it's terrific! My best friend lent it to me to read. We have decided to start a book club. First book on the list is the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. If any of you want to embark on this reading fen-zee by all means do. Even if you have suggestions that would be amazing as well.

I leave you with this thought by Mother Teresa

Let us always meet each other with, smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.

Empty Falls...

Its been awhile since my last post and I cant help but realize that in the span of that last post nothing really mind blowing has happened.

I can say that after much needed soul searching and some deep thought... I decided to take a break from school... most would think that means not taking classes but to me that means cutting back to one class for this semester. I think next semester I will take the last three that I have in order to graduate.

Tonight is one of those nights that I think sleepless-ness will bite me in the butt. I hate being like this but I have such a hard time sleeping lately. I have read through 3 books in the past week. I guess that is the least of our societies worries.. my sleep and reading habits. haha

Yesterday, I got to go on one of the best HIKES EVER! I mean getting out in the great outdoors is one of my favorite things to do. I have a horse for such reasons... but this hike was beyond words. The crazy part is that its the end of summer so the falls were not flowing... which means that beauty can only grow!

I encourage anyone that has the hint of a urging to step in the great outdoors to find a place to challenge yourself and see the wonders of nature at its finest! You will be so glad you did!

In the next few months I am focusing on getting into a career... Like a big girl job... the kind i have been avoiding like the black plague.. but the time is now! So here is the goals

1) Find career (salary)

1.5) finish school

2) Save enough to place a down payment on a small fixer upper house

3) move out

3.5) Make the house a home

4) grow up and be the kind of person someone would want to be around

I know these wont be happening over night but its something i have been looking into more seriously as the day of the anniversary of my birth approaches.. and with no suga daddy in sight its time this lady started paving her own way

!!!!!

As the leaves start to turn colors and the summer we had begins to fade away... I think about what this fall shall bring and what the summer has brought and how those experiences will shape the way of the crop that is to come...

Keep wandering through the fields of hope and aspirations because one day that field wont be filled with aspirations but accomplishments..

.

Kindi...

Im SUPER ecstatic to introduce you to Kindi! She is my new best friend that can hold over 3,500 books! My parents got her for me yesterday as a early Christmas gift and I haven't been able to leave the house with out her!

I love lists and having goals. If you ever lived with me you would know how much post-its mean to me. I know that as a tree-hugging paper saving person I should avoid such galavanting of post its but I cant seem to steer myself away from their usefulness. Any ways, i love writing out my goals, verses, motivation and other things on these little tokens to help guide me through the day.

Lately, my goals have been all about self improvement. "Eat more vegetables", "Pray for someone", "Take the trash out" (that was a chore but it helps keep me in line) any ways these little guys are every where floating around. I wonder what motivates you to strive for your goals?

Does a post-it or a list help you? Or are you a spreadsheet goal person? i want to know.

A few words from Walt:

Of all the things I've done, the most vital is coordinating those who work with me and aiming their efforts at a certain goal.
Walt Disney

So what's next... that seems again to be lost in the whistle of the wind.. May goals help you achieve your deepest desires.. but don't let those desires over run your life... live freely.. lovely deeply

Swaying with the trees...

I am looking out a window to see wind. The branches of trees that are full of green leaves sway easy. Almost too easy. Like the quiet breath of a baby, rising up and down without a thought.

I wonder if trees ever fight the wind. I know they aren't consciously living beings but what if a tree said no to the wind... Today I want to stand still. I never seem to be able to stand still for too long nor can I sit that way for too long but how empowering to stand without the slightest movement...

This is a short post because I am writing my research paper. I saw the trees and wanted to freely write about them before I go back to a more composed piece. haha I try to sound so sophisticated ;)

i hope that all of you can enjoy writing freely like the wind through the leaves like the breath freely lifting and like the consistent tapping of the keys across the keyboard..

until next time may the trees call you to be free...

Stealing color from a bloom..

Walking out a summer day it's very rare that you will find one but every now and then you will simply come across a flower that is about to peak through the bud... The hint of color that you steal is like a quick glimpse of what the beauty it may hold can be. But that quick glimpse of color is like diving into one's secret. YOU.. hold the secret of what may come next..

Passion.

The word that makes you want to know what is next. Eyes wide, heart open and practicality all but lost to the wind. I sometimes forget what my passion is. It gets lost between the traffic lights and the bills but my PASSION just got reunited.

The finishing line is fast approaching and with that exciting things are in the talks. Being in international education we get the chance to do our practicum case studies over seas to better grasp our concept. How exciting is that! I am so over joyed! I knew this was bound to happen but when they say two years... it seems like you have so much time to prepare but here it is... Spring 2012 I will be on a adventure to study!!!!

So if you were wondering what I was passionate about... people. culture. places.

I stole a peak of a flower that was budding this morning... the dew was still residing on it but I took a glimpse of what was to come.. I can say from this secret that I have many possibilities that are around the corner.

The question is whether or not you have stolen a glimpse too?

By plucking her petals, you do not gather the beauty of the flower. ~Rabindrath Tagore

Running through fields in the dark...

Getting in the groove of things...

It's comical to me when people that start working at a new place or start a new chapter in life say that they finally got into the "groove" of things.

I guess if you live your life grooving to music and have the beat of music direct how you flow through life but it makes me curious about what kind of music would be "my" groove. Or if it even matters the kind or genre of music that directs your life.

Would classical music automatically put you into the serious category of grooving... or would techno make you into a full on rage fend.

Stereotyping genre's of music to how one grooves in life seems to be such a interesting subject and seems to have some valid case to study...

But what about us who are trying to push and break down those barriers of stereotyping... do you think the music would have to stop to create a somewhat platform of normal groove. It's a curious matter indeed.. and one that should be thought about...

In matters of seriousness I have been struggling.

It's hard to admit that simple phrase of struggle. I think the worst part of struggling is comparing how you were in the beginning and asking yourself why can't I just get back to where I was "THEN".

What I realized is that when you struggle when you fall off the ship or the wagon the only way to make yourself feel ready to start again is to give yourself that clean slate.

Give up the comparisons. Drop what you were and could be if you would have stayed on track and just focus on what you have to give right NOW!

So here is my challenge for myself and for any who read this... take courage grab the reins and start up again.

"Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing"

~Psalm 34:4

I leave you with this seed for thought as the sun goes down and the street lights turn on remember that although you can not see your flowers they are still there waiting for you to run through them tomorrow...

Where the green grass grows...

I should be writing papers but I can't seem to come up with material that would pertain to the subject. Instead:

1. I am going to write on here
2. Think of a way to make pogo-sticking a national sport
3. Come up with a way to read with my eyes closed (With out listening to someone read aloud that would be listening not reading)
4. Decide if I should take a semester off or just keep on truckin

On the first subject, # 1, I haven't written in awhile. I have to admit I have been busy but not in the normal.."Writing papers, doing hw etc.." I have actually just been working, working and working. I have become the most boring person I know. And I hate it. Now I am becoming a narcistic complainer and that maybe worse. SO in effort to make my cool factor go up I think I am going to plan a trip to here, Budapest.. If you would like to join please message me..

Now onto the important topic. How to make pogo sticking a national sport or better yet an Olympic one. Well I think if walking and shooting a arrow can be a sport than why cant pogo sticking. I was looking at youtube videos of people wiping out and just think how entertaining that would be to watch. Better yet if they actually complete a double axel flip. Yep I think by the time I am 50 it will be a sport. If not enjoy this video.

The last two subjects I am complying into one. I am not sure how I will achieve reading with my eyes closed but I am sure if I close them long enough I will learn how.. maybe brail? And whether or not to take a semester off.. I am thinking that will take more than a 5 minute blog sesh to figure out...

Well until next we meet may the roses and wildflowers continue to sprout and make life ever sweeter..

Summer of grass growing on sidewalks....

A summer full of surprises... But mainly a summer full of pages of reading majority of that reading is text book material the other half is some light summer reading. This summer I am embarking on a journey through American Classics... I am now on "To Kill a Mocking Bird" by Harper Lee. I have read it before but looking at it with older eyes its interesting to see the themes and patterns that I pick up. I finished reading "The Color Purple" last week that one was a bit different it was my first time reading it but it brought to life the complexities of living in a different time as a woman and more specifically an African American woman...

Now, as I sit here in my bed I am reflecting. I am trying to figure out the depth of my personality. I know that I am not perfect but this week has really showcased some of my flaws. I feel bad but at the same time I can't help but want to point my finger at the situation that was given to me to deal with...

I keep imagining a ocean. As the waves roll in with some control and then out of no where you are slapped with a cascading blow by the slap of a wave that was bigger than expected. Maybe my personality resembles that control... control... predictable and wham left fielder... leaving you with the sense of numbness that only comes from getting the wind blown out of you..

Such a strange sensation but what a invigorating one... feeling numb to everything...

I guess I am just a little lost at the moment... Like getting lost in a field of sweet peas and not being able to smell the sweetness even though it is right under my nose.

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view--until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it." ~ To Kill A Mocking Bird. Scout chp 3

This quote is absolutely perfect. Its amazing how novels can have such depth on life. I guess that is what makes it a classic read. It gives running advice that can be used in a timeless manner.

I am leaving with this thought.. that even when lost in a sea of sweet peas or a field of thorns and bushes there is always some kind of sweet victory... a story untold and a life that you can not understand until you literally take a walk in their skin....

RAW....

What a change of pace... I forgot how quickly time can fly and the experiences of life can simply take over what you were doing and who you are.. When you finally realize what is going on you realize that you haven't posted on your blog in almost 5 months.

In that time I completed my second semester of grad school... taking 15 units (way too many) and working full time all the while finishing with 3 A's and 2 A-'s:) Not too shabby. After that semester I was quickly thrusted into my summer session and its been challenging to get my head in the game when all I want to do is vacation... But I know that when I get to the finish line I can truly jump for joy with all the effort and time that I put into this:)

I am apparently obsessed with smiley cons. I am realizing this from that last paragraph. Note to self its cheesey.

23 is the new me. I still feel like I am 21 and from time to time I actually catch myself saying "oh I am 21". It's funny how a number can define where you should be in your life. Like my Oma "She was married at my age" and my mother "I was traveling". I suppose your number doesn't have to be the same as anyone elses you can create the number to fit you. I am 23 proud of where I am...

I am 23... Single... and working at two places that I love. I was thumbing through the idea of marriage since that is the latest trend most of my friends are embarking on a few are even having babies. I am thrilled that they are there in their lives... but when I think about it I literally CAN NOT see myself doing that... Maybe I am immature and I will accept that whole heartedly... maybe I am fearful... which is more likely... whatever the reason I am a "flight risk with a fear of falling"

I find myself dreaming of foreign places and gypsy adventures... Taking the outback by storm... hitting the dusty trail with my horse. The places I seek are with myself and myself only. I am trying to figure out it is that I am experiencing if it is some kind of self denial of feeling but I have never felt more in LOVE. I am head over heals in Love with God! I find myself wanting nothing more to read his word and pray....

This time last year I was in INDIA. Experiencing a whole new kind of life. Maybe I am craving to be out of my comfort zone. I feel like this blog posting has no structure... Which is cool cause it is raw undisturb and interpreted feelings but the lack of structure makes my OCD kick in.

I am probably going to leave with this food for thought....

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."~2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Take a step...

I guess we are at the mid-way point in January. This is when things are going to get crazy. School is back in session, getting more hours at work and riding my beautiful horse. Balancing is going to soon become my middle name...

Today( or I should say tonight) was my first day in class.. I have already been in a few since a majority of the the five are online. It was a nice intro... not sure what to expect but if it is anything like last semesters class I will be intrigued.

Have you ever had that feeling in the pit of your stomach like something is going to happen or something already has... or maybe its just that you forgot to feed the dog... Well that is how I am feeling at the moment. For no obvious reason, other than I am stressed about my new work load.

With stress comes fear and that fear leads you to hold on when you should just let go. Some problems are too BIG for you to solve by yourself. Take a step... Challenge yourself to take the step to let go.

"Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.

~Matthew 14:29

Peter took that step towards Jesus when he called.. Was it scary? YES. But he still did it. Just like him I am taking that step of faith to leap out of myself and let go of the past, let go of the things I can't control and let go of what I think is best... trusting in the one that knows it all.

With that I end my evening sitting in bed dreaming of how beautiful the world is... and how stress can make it seem so ugly. Let go, I keep telling myself. Anyone want to join???

Raining on Monday....

Nerves... They always seem to get the best of me! I am actually not nervous but more or less stressed but my stress comes out in waves of nerves. Its so very contradicting of me because I tell people especially those closest to me not to worry all will work out.

Luke 12:24 says:

"Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds!"

I have quoted that verse so many times. One person shared it with me and it really impacted me. Yet I still forget. I guess if I were perfect I wouldn't be on earth now would I?!

This new year is one that is definitely going to be one with the biggest challenges that I have faced and so has my family. So many different things that are being thrown our way but I keep reminding myself that if God truly didn't think we could handle it he wouldn't have brought it to us. Sarah Palin wrote that in her new book America by Heart and I had to quote that. If you are looking for a nice read I would suggest it!

Some of you know that I am a work out junky. I love to run it is the one place I feel so out of this world. Its actually one of the reasons I started blogging. I always run and think, while writing my thoughts to the beat of my feet. Running through fields that are full of life is my favorites. I recommend going out in nature and trying it. If you aren't a runner just go out there and walk take pictures breathe it all up!

Anyhooters, I consider myself in good shape but today I decided to do jumping jacks but not just 10 NO I have to prove something to the macho men next to me I decided to whip out a solid 50! Right after I finished ( I was being all sorts of cocky) I went to grab my weights one step into it I pulled my hamstring! So as I am typing this I have a heating pad on my hammy!!!! Good goly! Thats what I get for trying to strut my stuff!!! haha

I am going to leave you with this thought... Although, sometimes it feels you have the weight of the world on your shoulders and you can't seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel... focus on what you know

"GOD WONT GIVE YOU SOMETHING YOU CANT HANDLE WITHOUT HIM"

Trust in yourself and in him all will pass!

May your gardens withstand through all the storms to see the the dawning of a new light...

2011!!!!!

It's the New Year! I made it! Through thick and thin I made it to 2011!!!! Not alone of course but with God as my center I was able to go through it all.

Now it has literally only been about 14 hours into the New Year and I have already had to make a decision that I was really not wanting to make. But I made it.. I know I hurt this person but I know in my heart that I had to do it to save our friendship... I can only hope that one day they will understand and forgive me.

2 Corinthians 5:17

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."

How real is this verse? I am awed! What better way to start the new year than to know that all things become new when you believe in God! You could have a New Year like every day if you wanted to. If you take that step and trust in the Lord. And everything that you have gone through any misfortunes will be passed away!!!! Just gone!

Of course you will remember these moments and it they may hurt, they may cause you to cry and they may make you think you aren't good enough. But what is great is that you are good enough and all pains and tears are washed away. Day by day the wound won't be as painful. It just takes some time.

So with all this being said... I hope that the New Year provides us all with the opportunity to stretch beyond our comfort. Realize that you are worth it and now that with difficult decisions comes either great opportunities or disappointments. You don't have to go through the flower fields alone. Grab onto His ever loving hand and have faith that he will lead you in the right.